It is rare a show covers a thorough portrayal of grief.

The Bear not only covers one account of a grieving soul, they’ve managed to capture said suffering of an entire family and restaurant crew. You see how different grief is for each person.

The inspiration of this post comes from the third season of The Bear, in the second episode.

Warning: there are a couple of spoilers to Marcus’s storyline.

The first time we see Marcus come to the restaurant after his loss, he has a conversation with Carmy. The summarized dialogue goes like this

Three things people get wrong about grief

“Stages of Grief” is a Myth

A prevalent belief is that grief follows a linear progression through defined stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, this model, popularized by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, was originally intended to describe the emotional responses of terminally ill patients rather than those grieving a loss. In reality, grief is a highly individual and non-linear process. People may experience a mix of emotions that can fluctuate unpredictably, making it crucial to approach grief with self-compassion rather than a rigid timeline.

It is NOT too late for Carmy to get support and work on healing those wounds.

Carmy could be in any stage of grief. And as the leader, the one everyone looks up to, he isn’t modeling the behavior he wants for his team. This could be an opportunity for him to bond even further with Marcus. They could go get support together.

Outward Emotion Equals Weakness

Another misconception is that showing emotions, such as crying, signifies weakness. Many individuals believe they should suppress their feelings to appear strong. In truth, expressing grief is a natural and healthy response to loss. Mourning openly can be a powerful way to process emotions and seek support, demonstrating strength rather than vulnerability. Embracing one's feelings can facilitate healing rather than hinder it.

Given Carmy’s family history (The Bear, Season 2 comes to mind), I can understand why this would be difficult to overcome for him and his family. And these past traumas are also under the surface, bubbling up. Imagine how Carmy would feel and behave if he allowed himself to fully heal these burdens.

Staying Busy Will Help

A common coping mechanism is to "stay busy" to avoid confronting grief. While engaging in activities can provide temporary distraction, this approach often stems from the belief that avoiding grief will make it easier to manage. In reality, acknowledging and processing grief is essential for healing. Conversations about the deceased and sharing memories can be vital components of the grieving process, allowing individuals to honor their loved ones while navigating their emotions.

Here is what you can do instead of staying busy:

• Face your feelings: Instead of avoiding or suppressing your grief, acknowledge and express your emotions.

• Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to grieve in your own way and time.

• Connect with others: Talking about your loss can help ease the burden and provide a sense of connection.

• Find meaning: Look for ways to honor your enduring connection to the person who died and re-envision your life with new possibilities for happiness.

• Engage in spiritual practices: Even if you don’t consider yourself spiritual, activities like praying, meditation, and talking to your lost loved one may offer solace.

If your grief feels overwhelming, seeking help from a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling can be beneficial.

Grief is a highly personal process. It's important to find coping strategies that work for you and to allow yourself the time and space to grieve in your own way.

Much love, namaste.

Happy Friday y’all. Have a beautiful weekend.

Until next time,

KIERSTEN THOMPSON
Afterlife Midwife | Grieving Souls Club
grievingsouls.club